5/22/16
QDTG Newsletter

Good morning, y'all & happy Sunday!  

So you know how it was super windy on Thursday night? Well, we have this huge tree in our backyard that is just the bane of our existence.  No matter the season, that tree sheds like crazy.  Be it yellow sappy things that stick to everything (including our dog and our clothing), green leaves, brown leaves, small branches - it's always hucking stuff into our yard non stop. During Thursday night's wind storm, a good sized branch fell off into my diagonal backyard neighbor's yard (my neighbor of 15 years, by the way).  On Friday afternoon when I walked out of the house, I found that branch on my front steps with a note attached to it saying that it had fallen in her yard and she signed with her address and not her name.  And I was like, that's so passive aggressive, Suzanne (this was in my mind because I don't fight with neighbors anymore).  So I left the branch there because Friday was a crazy day, which I can't even begin to explain except to say that Mercury is in retrograde, ok? When my husband Dan got home, we had a good laugh about it and we decided that we would keep the branch outside for the weekend with the note attached for all the neighbors to see.  And sure enough EVERYBODY commented about it yesterday and many laughs were had.  Even from people who we thought didn't have a sense of humor.  Seriously, everyone was dying over it and it was fun to take the piss out of Suzanne, our neighbor of 15 years, who used to be a nun and is now just very, very, very unfriendly and crotchety.  And it turns out, pretty much everyone thinks that about her.  And it reminded of me an event years ago back when we lived in Cambridge, MA and we were one month away from getting married in 1997.  Our landlord, Carole O'Hare, who resembles Suzanne in so many ways decided not to renew our lease.  So here we were a month away from getting married and totally crazed and Carole O'Hare was like, my niece is moving in and you two are moving out. So we had a revenge yard sale out on the sidewalk and invited all of our friends to join us so they could sell their junk along with ours and take over the front of Carole O'Hare's huge Cambridgeport home.  Everybody showed up to shop for bargains.  We were young and full of ourselves so we didn't know any of the adult neighbors who lived nearby.  So we started meeting lots of people and they were very nice and it was really fun day.  So of course we told them that Carole O'Hare kicked us out, and they all felt terrible for us.  And guess what?  They all hated Carole O'Hare.  No one liked her and it was just delicious standing outside all day long hearing this from her longtime neighbors because it totally validated our outrage and fueled our revenge.  And it gets better you guys.  Towards the end of the day, Alan Dershowitz (the Harvard U law professor and OJ Simpson defense attorney and author of CHUTZPAH) popped by on his Saturday afternoon walk with his very young wife and a toddler in tow.  And guess what Professor Dershowitz did? He combed through the dregs of our yard sale!  He poked through our crap and even picked up old articles of clothing to (cross) examine them all while his toddler was having a temper tantrum in our driveway about her socks falling down.  It was so very amazing in every way possible.  And I know it was Alan Dershowitz because I straight up asked him and introduced myself. You're probably thinking that Dan & I are a little crazy and that's ok because I can live with that.  And yes, we are going to get rid of the tree branch and note today because the fun is over. 

 

Source: https://mg.mail.yahoo.com/d/folders/29