5/29/16
QDTG Newsletter

Good morning & happy Memorial Day weekend!  

It's business as usual around here for me and there's no time off yet, which reminds me that I need to remind you about my upcoming vacation dates: 

NO QDTG the week of June 7th and the week of June 14th  

But I'll be back in action on Tuesday, June 21st ready to cook for you all summer long (except for the week of August 9th, but we will deal with that later on this summer).  June 21st is the day my daughter goes to overnight camp for a month in Santa Rosa - a whole month! Normally we drive her up there, I cry when we say goodbye and then we go out to lunch afterwards and talk about all the fun stuff we are going to do while she's away to make ourselves feel better after sending her off.  But this year I will be home working instead.  My husband can handle drop off on his own.  So the first year Marley went to overnight camp she was in 2nd grade, and she was going for almost two weeks but since my Mom was going to be the camp nurse while she was there and since I went to overnight camp (for the whole summer) when I was that age, I thought it would be no problem to say goodbye.  Nopes. Not. At. All.  It was really, really hard and I cried a lot.  Oh, and I should mention that my dad was at camp as well so it's not like she was all alone without family spying on her and making sure she was adjusting properly. So I was bawling as we drove out of there, and my husband was like, Rachel, what's going on with you?  And you know what it was?  It was the loss of control.  I foolishly thought I'd be helping her unpack her stuff, and would get to see her cabin and meet her counselors and bunkmates and just make sure that she was settled in.  Not at her camp though.  You get there and you wait in line with your kid as they get the lice check and get their temperature taken, and then they kick you out.  So you have no idea where her cabin is and who the kids (and they are college kids) are who will be watching over her for a few weeks. It's frightening!  The loss of control is super hard. And it happens every summer.  I cry every time we say goodbye - I blubber and look insane - like one of those moms of only children who can't let go.  Hi there, that's me!  I horrify myself.  I'm hoping the goodbye on the sidewalk will be easier to handle...  

There was another letting go of control recently, which definitely had me hyped up.  A trip downtown to the mall on the last day of school with a bunch of friends.  6th grade girls (I know they are technically in 7th at this point) - and there were seven of them - are loud & obnoxious & they think they are so grown up and they are so not.  They are completely out of it. Thursday was the last day of school for SFUSD, and I was busy quick dishing.  My husband was around for an awards ceremony because Marley was getting a golden owl (something she was obsessing about all year and thank god it happened). Someone came up with the brilliant idea of going downtown, and Dan asked if we should let Marley join them and I was like, I don't know... she has no idea where to get off the train and how to walk up into the mall, etc. And Dan was like, yeah I know, but there are a few girls in this group who do know so I think we should let her join them.  One of her friend's dad is a cop and a coach at the school and he offered to pick up all the girls afterwards and drive them home. He told Dan this was a great way to start going downtown - in a big group - and that his older son had started off this way.  Then I started to worry because she gave Dan her school bag to take home, and she was going to carry her wallet and phone around without a purse.  A kid should not walk around with a wallet and a phone - it will get lost or stolen - and that will be a disaster.  So I frantically texted her to make sure she was careful and that maybe her one of her friends could hold onto that stuff for her.  And then I just had to let go because I was being all over protective & alarmist & stuff.  They made it to the mall and ate and shopped and even went to a movie and although there was some second guessing about how they were all getting home, it was a success.  There was a point when chaos ensued, but Dan took over. He was like, Rach, I got this. He made sure the dad (who I'm pretty sure is a saint) was really going to pick all the girls up and drive each one of them home. He made sure Marley understood that so she could stop saying that he wasn't because the texting back and forth and the confusion about how they were getting home was truly maddening.  I love how he took over - that's usually my role - and he's so good at it!  There's going to be so much letting go, you guys - so much - and I better just buckle up and hang on and hope it's going to be ok because it's so hard to stop controlling everything.  

Well, here's to a great summer and teaching our kids the life skills they need to go out into the world and spread their wings!

 

Source: https://mg.mail.yahoo.com/d/folders/29